So IVF #1 turned out to be a BFN. I said I wouldn’t, but I ended up taking a million HPT’s, what can I say, crazy took over. I tested at 4dpt to make sure the trigger hcg was gone, then I started with my first real test at 7dpt. I told my self it could still be too early. So I waited until 9dpt to test again, and same result. This is when I started to feel like it was going to be a negative no matter what. I tried to stay optimistic but had a gut feeling that it didn’t work.   I pretty much tested everyday including the morning of my beta (14dpt)…all negative. Excruciating that our clinic makes us wait a full 14 days, I know a lot of peoples test at 10+ days.  During the TWW I did exactly what they tell you not to do, and spent wayyyy too much time on Google, did not stay busy enough to keep my mind off things, and stressed to the max! All I can say is poor Brian! We ended up having 6 eggs left over to freeze to use with the next cycle.

The day after the official beta, we went to the urologist. She is confident that we can try again, but have to wait 6 months for him to heal, as surgical retrieval would be the only option again. She can repeat the same procedure and hope for a better quantity, or try a more invasive one to increase the odds of successful retrieval. She put him on some other meds to optimize his hormone levels and we go back in the end of April to try the PVS again to see if there are any swimmers in his sample, with the hopes that that will steer us in the right direction to which procedure to do with round 2. Theres no way to know why this time didn’t work, could’ve been poor sperm quality, but it also could’ve been just a statistic, as they frequently remind us that in a perfect cycle, the best shot is still 50/50.

Since the negative, we have been staying positive and looking forward to August. We keep saying that the last cycle was just a “practice run” with the hopes that the next one will have less stress, fewer surprises, and more babies.

I feel like an ass complaining about finances because I know some people have absolutely no insurance coverage. But here are my complaints anyway-I wish we could’ve paid upfront for any coinsurance/copays. Since the negative we have gotten most of our bills from the clinic for our procedures. Prior to, we didn’t pay anything, as they had to submit to insurance first. It just kinda sucks retrospectively paying hundreds of dollars for something that didn’t end up working. I’m glad its not more and that we have great insurance, but every time another bill comes its just a reminder that were still not pregnant!

On the bright side, I get to enjoy another summer of cocktails and a body that has not been taken over by hormones! I’m trying to eat better and exercise more to be in the best shape possible for round 2. Looking back, I will make sure I start stool softeners as soon as I start prenatals this time. I was taking the prescription ones which were super expensive, so I need to talk to them about OTC ones, I don’t really think there’s any difference.

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